Leaving the environs of Big Star Lake, if you drive north for a ways
and then drive west for a longer ways,
you will eventually come to the town of Ludington.
You can't go any farther than Ludington because it's situated
ever so picturesquely on the shore of Lake Michigan.
When the weather at BSL was unbeach-like
we often went to Ludington for the day
and with gas costing $.39 a gallon,
who could blame us. On the way you passed through (and still do)
several very small towns such as Walhalla, Custer and Scottville.
On this particular day our mystery unfolds in the town of Custer.
When I was little (the 1960s)
Custer was the home of
Johnny's Bandstand.
This was the place that all of the
bored, restless teens from BSL went to on a weekend night.
It offered live music, usually of this garage-band caliber....
.... the "Starlit Room featuring Steaks, Chops, Shrimp and Chicken"
and "Rollerskating every Wed. & Fri. nights."
In case you were wondering, Johnny's Bandstand was
"Michigan's No. 1 Teen Spot" and their motto was
"Bridgeing (sic) the Generation Gap".
(All of this info was gleaned from a full page ad
in the Big Star Lake Association Directory of 1971).
For me, it was exciting to cruise by Johnny's and imagine
what my older siblings and cousins and their friends were dancing or skating to
on a Friday or Saturday night.
Like most kids, I suffered from the delusion that
everyone else was having a lot more fun than me.
In addition to Johnny's, Custer had a drive in restaurant
of the Dog-n-Suds variety
where a carhop skated (or sashayed) up to your car,
took your order, then returned
with your food on a tray and hooked it to your car window.
This is what a carhop looked like, minus the good-looks
(at least in Custer).
and then drive west for a longer ways,
you will eventually come to the town of Ludington.
You can't go any farther than Ludington because it's situated
ever so picturesquely on the shore of Lake Michigan.
When the weather at BSL was unbeach-like
we often went to Ludington for the day
and with gas costing $.39 a gallon,
who could blame us. On the way you passed through (and still do)
several very small towns such as Walhalla, Custer and Scottville.
On this particular day our mystery unfolds in the town of Custer.
When I was little (the 1960s)
Custer was the home of
Johnny's Bandstand.
This was the place that all of the
bored, restless teens from BSL went to on a weekend night.
It offered live music, usually of this garage-band caliber....
.... the "Starlit Room featuring Steaks, Chops, Shrimp and Chicken"
and "Rollerskating every Wed. & Fri. nights."
In case you were wondering, Johnny's Bandstand was
"Michigan's No. 1 Teen Spot" and their motto was
"Bridgeing (sic) the Generation Gap".
(All of this info was gleaned from a full page ad
in the Big Star Lake Association Directory of 1971).
For me, it was exciting to cruise by Johnny's and imagine
what my older siblings and cousins and their friends were dancing or skating to
on a Friday or Saturday night.
Like most kids, I suffered from the delusion that
everyone else was having a lot more fun than me.
In addition to Johnny's, Custer had a drive in restaurant
of the Dog-n-Suds variety
where a carhop skated (or sashayed) up to your car,
took your order, then returned
with your food on a tray and hooked it to your car window.
This is what a carhop looked like, minus the good-looks
(at least in Custer).
Now on this particular day, Judy VH, me, Eunice H., Debbie H.
and probably others, were on our way to Ludington
and we decided to stop in Custer to get a bite to eat.
Sure enough, here came the carhop all carhoppy up to the car and
she took our order. When we finished indicating what we wanted,
she scribbled it down in her genuine clip-on carhop notebook
and then looked up and said,
"Don't nobody want no mushrooms?"
To a person, we all gazed back at her with what can
only be described as
the typical deer-in-the-headlights stare (ie, stunned)
and struggled to respond in some coherent manner
to this impossible query.
"I said," she said, "Don't nobody want no mushrooms?!?"
She then jabbed the laminated menu in frustration in case
we didn't know what a Custer deepfried mushroom looked like.
It looked like this.....
Well!
We were very aware of what a deepfried mushroom looked like.
What we couldn't comprehend was how to respond to
the Dreaded Triple Negative.
"Yes, nobody don't want no mushrooms",
or
"No, nobody don't want no mushrooms."
????
So there we sat like Lot's wife who had turned into a pillar of salt,
except that we were four pillars of speechless salt.
Or,
I know, I know
we were kinda like the cow of Bashan
that was struck dumb,
or wait, it was the ass of Balaam
and Balaam was struck dumb.
Whatever.
You get the picture.
We were speechless.
Now, to be fair,
there is an argument for our carhop.
Read what Wikipedia has to say on the subject...
"Today, the double negative is often considered
the mark of an uneducated speaker,
but it used to be quite common in English
... Chaucer made extensive use of double negatives in his poetry,
sometimes even using triple negatives."
blah blah blah
and, then, I love Wiki's anecdotal references:
"In the film, Mary Poppins, Dick Van Dyke uses a double negative
when he says, If you don't want to go nowhere.
A double negative is also famously used
in the first two lines of the song
'Another Brick In The Wall' by Pink Floyd, sung by children
we don't need no education
we don't need no thought control..."
Well, in that case, Wiki,
WE don't need no mushrooms,
thanks all the same!
We were very aware of what a deepfried mushroom looked like.
What we couldn't comprehend was how to respond to
the Dreaded Triple Negative.
"Yes, nobody don't want no mushrooms",
or
"No, nobody don't want no mushrooms."
????
So there we sat like Lot's wife who had turned into a pillar of salt,
except that we were four pillars of speechless salt.
Or,
I know, I know
we were kinda like the cow of Bashan
that was struck dumb,
or wait, it was the ass of Balaam
and Balaam was struck dumb.
Whatever.
You get the picture.
We were speechless.
Now, to be fair,there is an argument for our carhop.
Read what Wikipedia has to say on the subject...
"Today, the double negative is often considered
the mark of an uneducated speaker,
but it used to be quite common in English
... Chaucer made extensive use of double negatives in his poetry,
sometimes even using triple negatives."
blah blah blah
and, then, I love Wiki's anecdotal references:
"In the film, Mary Poppins, Dick Van Dyke uses a double negative
when he says, If you don't want to go nowhere.
A double negative is also famously used
in the first two lines of the song
'Another Brick In The Wall' by Pink Floyd, sung by children
we don't need no education
we don't need no thought control..."
Well, in that case, Wiki,
WE don't need no mushrooms,
thanks all the same!
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