The Eggbeater

Innertubing, tobaganning, skiing,

In general, just going fast,
these were all activities we lusted after
while at Big Star Lake.

In our collective mind's eye
we looked something like this
(if we were female)

Modest, head-covered,
but still having a good time,


or like this,
(if we were male)

Appropriately attired,
but in general kinda insane,
as most boys are at this age.


Unfortunately, none of this was meant to be
for the extended Hofman clan.
In fact, I can almost hear the dominie intoning,
"If the good Lord meant
for you to be tearing around the lake
like a crazed waterskeeter ,
he would have formed you with a
35 hp Evinrude welded to your spine."

On the practical side, two key ingredients were missing:

1. A big boat
2. A big boat with a big honkin' motor.

Now,
the Hofmans had a boat motor,
an inheritance of sorts and in the true Dutch tradition
where nothing is ever discarded or thrown away
simply because it's broken, or out-dated,
or non-energy effecient, or politically incorrect
or in our case, ugly beyond all belief,
we had our family heirloom motor
which we christened
"The Eggbeater".

(not an actual photo but pretty dang close)

Yes. I know. Almost too hideous to behold.


Pictured below is a "real" eggbeater.


If you were to hang over the back of your fishing boat
put this kitchen implement in the water and crank away,
your boat would ( kinda sorta) advance forward
at approximately the same speed as it would
using our vintage "Eggbeater" motor.

I think it goes without saying that we children
and teenagers were too mortified
to be photographed anywhere near
this thing,
and so, sadly, no pictures have been found (yet).

However, I'll leave you with a
very close approximation
of the sound of our Hofman Heirloom
"beating" in your ears: